Tuesday, February 23, 2016

This is how my resume should really look



Deborah Dendler
Living artist, not a zombie


Education
School of Hard Knocks
University of Bad Life Choices


Skills
Made more than 14,520 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Able to answer the same question hundreds of times, pleasantly
Raised two children who have turned into actual adults
Owned by Supercats Peter and Wendy
Plays with clay and colors with crayons well with grandchildren
Sees the humor of both a screaming 3 year old and/or a raging teenager
Cut up an onion at 4 PM to start dinner almost every afternoon since 1969


Accomplishments
Changed the oil on the lawnmower
Figured out why the slipcast reliefs were not drying
Figured out why the plaster molds were crummy


Goals
To be alive at 70
To be alive at 80


To be...

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