What just cracked?

Some sculpture packing and loading operations go better than others. A couple of weeks ago, I loaded two sculptures on their way to a show in a museum more than an hour away. First sculpture, a fragile terra-cotta, went into the car fine.  The second, not so much.  The second sculpture is epoxy and bronze, which is pretty indestructible.  Unfortunately, I forgot that since the last time I'd loaded this sculpture into a car, I'd switched cars and my new one has much less cargo space.  So when I shoved the sculpture into the back seat, I jammed it so badly that the arm cracked. Horrified, I got it unwedged from the door, opened the hatch and slid it into the back, jamming it once again, this time against the ceiling, which is lower than my old car. Finally, I managed to get it into position, which I had previously measured to make sure it would fit. I took a deep breath. Due at the museum in a few hours, there was no time to repair and patch the damage properly. So, I rounded up some supplies from the house. I grabbed every temporary repair material I could think of - plaster, clay, epoxy, acrylic, brushes, paper towels, plaster tools, stir sticks and started to drive.  Along the way, I realized that almost none of this repair material was going to be a quick fix that I could do under the critical eyes of museum staff, so I decided to stop by the local Walmart to see what they had. I thought maybe some muffler repair putty would work. Amazingly, in the arts and crafts department, they had a small package of plastalene in five earth colors that must have been geared for diorama makers, because the colors were black, brown, green, tan and white.  I grabbed a package, paid for it and drove.

When I got to the museum, I unloaded the first sculpture and all went well. Before I unloaded the second, I made the mistake of explaining what had happened to the very nice woman receiving work. She was aghast. The more I explained, the more horrified she looked. Obviously not a sculptor. Not everything always works perfectly. I hope for perfection, but I don't expect it. Molds don't separate. Casting materials go bad. Stuff doesn't set correctly. Things blow up. I got the feeling she wasn't an artist of any kind because she was so freaked out. This was obviously not someone who had ever had a day in the studio that looked like a 3 Stooges episode, and I don't know any artists who haven't. What the heck. Accidents happen. Trying to disregard the atmosphere of disbelief and horror, I brought in the damaged sculpture, and showed her what I was talking about. I started smooshing plastalene together to match the epoxy bronze. I filled in the crack, which thankfully was on a sleeve with lots of folds of drapery, and I anchored a couple of places on the base. From a foot away you couldn't even tell there was a repair. I called over the horrified woman and asked her what she thought, and she admitted, "You're right. If you hadn't told me it was there, I never would have seen it."   The museum put the repaired scupture in a glass case that has so many reflections you can barely see the arm, much less see the repair job. This stuff cracks me up.



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