Winning awards, commissions, grants and kudos of all kinds are pretty much the icing on the artistic cake. Winning stuff is not a reason to work at art, but it certainly makes the ride smoother. I have to say that 2015 was a very good year for me. But I always wonder if having a streak of good luck is like hitting a run of green traffic lights when you're driving. Statistically, the odds are really good that the next trip will involve a lot of red traffic lights. Meanwhile, I'm basking in the glow of the past year's successes: more than a dozen shows; the Canadian exhibit seen by a million people a day; the magazine article; three awards; publication by a literary magazine; the solo exhibition.
Naturally, I ran into some red lights. One of my sculptures was damaged during installation in a gallery in NYC. The sculpture can't be repaired and it's committed to another exhibition in the spring. I haven't figured out what I'm doing about that yet. Plus, all that energy that kept me zooming around getting ready for my solo show just stopped like my electric plug had just been pulled once the show was hung and opened. Woof. No energy. No motivation. No inspiration. I'm trying to get some things framed for my next show in < four weeks and I'm struggling. Fortunately, I have all the materials or I don't know what would happen.
The funny thing is that what I'm mulling over is that I haven't accomplished any of the things I expected myself to do when I was young. Many of the goals I had as a young sculptor are not even on my list any more. I started out as a sculptor working life size and over life size, so I planned to do a lot of monumental sculpture. What I didn't realize then was that I have a complete and total aversion to sculptures of DWG (dead white guys) so that anything likely to be monumental size would also be revolting subject matter. I applaud the work of my peers doing life size and monumental portraits of financiers, athletes and politicians: better them than me! DWGs mostly look like a stack of cylinders which is very boring: tube legs on a big tube torso with tube arms, all encased in a tube of a suit. Repellent.
One good thing this week is that I discovered on a Google search that I won an award in an online show I didn't even know I got into. Live and learn! The new year is off to a great start. I can't wait to see what I do next.
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