Sometimes I wonder what is the point of applying to elite shows, competitions, grants and solo shows. My odds are not great. I'm old. I'm not cutting edge, startlingly innovative or snazzy. My chances range from "a snowball's chance in in Hell" to "well, it is possible." But you can't win if you don't enter, so I feel compelled to enter some of these things. I spent a lot of years not entering anything and that's not the solution. Now, I'm probably overdoing it in the opposite direction, but what the heck. At this point in my life, I'm not worried about looking like an idiot. I'm used to that, as well as feeling like a fool. And there's no fool like an old fool.
One of the nice things about getting old but not quite past my expiration date is that I don't give a rat's ass about a lot of things I used to care quite a lot about. (Not ending my sentences with prepositions is one.) What possible difference can it make whether I wear yoga pants to the grocery store or not? Does the lettuce care? And why do I have to wash my car all the time? It will rain. What's important is that I pay the bills on time, get the trash out and there's some kind of dinner at our house every night. In my opinion, the secret of happiness is lowering your standards to the point that you can live with yourself, but not so low that you're wallowing in some kind of mess.
On the other hand, there are times you have to go the whole nine yards. When you're learning how to do whatever it is you want to do with your life is one of those times. Going off the deep end is totally appropriate when you're mastering your art. There's no other way to do it. No pain, no gain; no guts, no glory. Set the very highest standards and don't stop until you meet them. If it’s true that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at something, then I became an expert at life drawing and life sculpture four decades ago, and presumably, haven't lost it completely yet. I'm glad I did it then because I couldn't do it now. That kind of arduous acquisition of knowledge and relentless hours of practicing every day is really only possible for those who are young and full of energy. I made some terrible life choices after my excellent art school education, so I have to work harder now to accomplish everything that I can. I can't let the bloopers of the past determine my future. I have to take a few more shots.
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Michael Jordan
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